Cute Kills

Okay, so we know that the Japanese absolutely love cute. Kawaii (cute) is one of the first words we learned by osmosis - it's used all the time. But you figure there's got to be limits, even in cute-crazy Japan, right? Wrong. It turns out that cute can kill.
That's right. Let's say that you're just an average neighbourhood cockroach, one of many in a country with a nice temperate climate. You're sniffing around under floors and between walls when all of a sudden a pleasing aroma tickles your antennae and makes your tummy rumble. What's that tasty smell? You track it down by squeezing through a crack in a wall and scuttling into the dark comfy corner of somebody's kitchen cabinets. What's that up ahead of you? Why it's....YOUR DREAM HOME! Hallelujah, you've struck it rich! It's got a white picket fence, just like you always wanted! It's got beautiful red shingles and ivy climbing up the roof! There's a lovely mature flower garden and pretty pink shutters. Best of all, there's a gorgeous young lady cockroach leaning out the front window with a smile as broad as the horizon! This is your lucky day! So you stroll up to the white picket fence, puff out your chest, and strut inside to the feast and fellowship that surely await you. But suddenly...what's this? Your feet! They can't move! All six of them are immobilized! It's like you've stumbled into an episode of The Sopranos and suddenly found yourself sporting a fresh new pair of cement kicks! What's next, Lake Michigan? What's going on around here, anyway? Where am I?

My friend, you have just stumbled into the House of Horrors. I know it looks cute as all get out, but you've forgotten - cute kills, and your number's up.

Panic! Panic! Sticky green shoes! I'm stuck! Help me! Help me! Ahh, my little brown friend - you picked the wrong kitchen to pillage this night! May you be reformed of your life of piracy forever...at least for whatever minutes you've got left! Har har har!

Well if it makes you feel any better, you haven't been suckered in by some road side salesman with a shoddy set of encyclopedias and unlabeled colognes in the trunk of his 1986 Camaro. No, my friend, you're just the next victim of the renowned roach killer, the Gokiburi Hoi Hoi.

Putting the traps together is kind of like Lego meets an advent calendar, with a big piece of sticky paper and stinky roach bait thrown in for good measure.

The limited view of an unsuspecting roach. Is that the beautiful lady roach up there, reclining so naturally on the floor of my dream home? I must move in for a closer look...

Ahhh, here she is - the secret weapon! That Jezebel, that Bathsheeba, that Delilah! The stinky packet of bait and the beautiful real estate ought to be enough to lure in any red-blooded roach (actually they're filled with a yellow puss), but when it comes to war in the kitchen, no holds are barred! Gokiburi Hoi Hoi cuts loose with this racy representation of the ultimate seducer - the she-roach!